When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
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There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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