tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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