Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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