I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
