No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
