what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Boobs speak an international language.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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