if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
