is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
