its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
