so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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