Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
