so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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