Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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