why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize