Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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