so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
