he shaved USA in his pubs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
