i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize