I will die if light touches me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
