um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
