Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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