Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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