I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
