Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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