There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize