she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Houston, we have a squirter
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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