small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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