when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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