I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
A+ Viking dick
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
