If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
