So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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