i love accidental penises.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize