And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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