he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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