Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
