You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
