I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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