Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
