Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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