after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize