Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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