PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
