I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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