You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
