Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

at least i was looking out for everybody

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(631): View more from New York

we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms

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(408): View more from California

The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.

(408): View more from California

You've ruined television for me.

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(+41): View more from Switzerland

She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.

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(847): View more from Illinois

sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority

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(949): View more from California

i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love

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(303): View more from Colorado

I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum

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