you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
then he tried to convert me to islam
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.