Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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  (573): Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/k6zp
  Replies (10) Good night (6073) Bad night (638)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."

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  (337): And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active." http://tfl.nu/o68j
  Replies (77) Good night (828) Bad night (16051)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying

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  (574): all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying http://tfl.nu/ymvi
  Replies (15) Good night (4698) Bad night (565)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move

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  (703): i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move http://tfl.nu/msae
  Replies (33) Good night (7291) Bad night (761)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."

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  (304): I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God." http://tfl.nu/1oy5
  Replies (21) Good night (10307) Bad night (1520)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.

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  (812): You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down. http://tfl.nu/c4iu
  Replies (6) Good night (3154) Bad night (820)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.

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  (404): Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800. http://tfl.nu/a5yx
  Replies (15) Good night (2687) Bad night (774)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  and she just brought her bike into the shower with her

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  (434): and she just brought her bike into the shower with her http://tfl.nu/c8oh
  Replies (8) Good night (2638) Bad night (1081)
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  (983): View more from

  I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again

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  (983): I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again http://tfl.nu/uu1t
  Replies (11) Good night (618) Bad night (2433)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

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  (561): A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night http://tfl.nu/8aub
  Replies (6) Good night (2888) Bad night (686)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Lolll I'll be sleeping

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.

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  (905): I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though (289): Lolll I'll be sleeping (905): I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town. http://tfl.nu/s1jf
  Replies (2) Good night (2108) Bad night (676)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex

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  (270): Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex http://tfl.nu/j5jn
  Replies (5) Good night (1697) Bad night (449)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market

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  (484): cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market http://tfl.nu/r2s5
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (705)
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  (510): View more from California

  Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.

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  (510): Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation. http://tfl.nu/xoud
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (277)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was

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  (850): Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was http://tfl.nu/vhsw
  Replies (6) Good night (796) Bad night (232)

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