I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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