Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
