He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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