When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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