and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize