I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
