Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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