Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
