My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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