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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
